Who I’ve Been
Through reading, I've walked
in countless shoes;
my fate written
in the lives of others
like an arranged marriage to
thousands of souls.
I’ve suffered shame, abuse, and neglect.
Yet, it’s not my life I describe,
but the stories I’ve devoured,
each a distant relative
I’ve briefly known.
I’m raised in a highly dysfunctional family
and must find a way to fend for myself,
alone in the world.
I’ve been isolated from society,
all the while wanting to belong.
I’ve been imprisoned in a dungeon
and sold to the Gold Coast in the slave trade.
Once a black girl, I carried a baby
fathered through violence.
I’ve starved,
become despondent,
endured incredible hardship,
and resorted to cannibalism to survive.
As a brown girl, I’ve dreamed,
caught between black and white -
two worlds -
desperate to find what’s below the surface.
I’ve been an Iranian refugee
with a fatwa on my head.
I’ve lost everything and in realizing
that I have nothing, I’ve found my way again.
I’ve been an alcoholic, white divorcee.
As a Russian count,
a hotel became my prison.
In another life, I’m a shepherd boy,
in search of purpose
when it’s right in front of me.
I’m told I’m a bad mother,
a horrible wife,
a brave girl.
I’ve tried to tell my story,
but no one would listen.
Yet each story I’ve slipped into
has whispered back, teaching me -
Teaching me that we all suffer,
we all hope, we all dream.
In ink splattered on a page,
we find our common story.
And so, I hold these words lightly,
Like fragile paper between my fingers.
Understanding at last
that in this tapestry of tales,
each thread worn but vibrant,
is the very essence
of a life that is still worth living,
still worth sharing,
and forever worth telling.
This poem was inspired by a prompt in a writing workshop with Callie Feyen and Sonya Spillmann. They are apart of the the Exhale Creativity team through Coffee & Crumbs.
