a bit of gratitude // day 4
Watching my son ascend the starting block, I recognize the universal dance with discomfort—the hesitance in his steps, the tightness of his lips. It's only practice, yet from my perch in the bleachers, I feel tethered to his every tense muscle and shallow breath. The silent weight of anticipation stretching across the expanse of the chlorine-scented air between us tends to choke me.
Earlier, as we discussed his upcoming swim meet, his confessions of fear echo in my mind, stirring a familiar flutter in my chest—a shared anxiety. We unpacked fears that seemed as vast as the pool itself: the biting cold of the water, the imagined depths harboring shadowy monsters. I offered words intended to soothe, all while recognizing my reflection in his turmoil. The art of calming a racing heart, it seems, is a lesson not just for him, but for me as well.
As I sit, watching my son's battle with his nerves, I’m transported to the snowy slopes where, this past winter, I faced my own fears. My son, with his boundless enthusiasm for skiing, beckons me toward the mountain’s edge, where double black diamonds slash the terrain with thrilling, yet intimidating paths. In the heartbeat before I commit to the descent, I step out of my comfort zone, confronting not only the steep fall line but the expectations of the tiny figure watching me—the expectation to not only preach courage but to embody it. As winter looms nearer, a cocktail of anticipation stirs within me. To keep pace with my son this season means confronting a battalion of fears in myself.
This snippet of my own vulnerability, woven into our conversation about his swimming, is a reminder that we all face our own 'sharks' beneath the surface. As I grow older, it's tempting to shy away from challenges, but it's in the steady, often uncomfortable journey of facing fears that we inch towards growth.
“Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is... and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.”
Here is a simple list of ways I’ve found helpful for stepping out of discomfort. Maybe you’re already there!
Learn Something New // Pick up a new skill or hobby that you've never tried before, like a craft, a new language, or an instrument. This can also be a wonderful opportunity to learn alongside your children, showing them the value of lifelong learning.
Physical Challenges // Engage in a new form of exercise or a physical activity that you've been curious about. It could be a yoga class, a dance style, or even something more adventurous like skiing black diamonds :)
Solo Time // For many mothers, including myself, taking time for themselves can feel uncomfortable because they're so accustomed to putting others first. Plan solo outings or take time to indulge in personal interests. For me, I try to visit a local greenhouse a 1-2 times per month. I love seeing the atmostphere change with the season. I snag a coffee, browse the plants, and sit to write or read for an hour.
Professional Development // Enroll in a course or workshop that pushes your professional boundaries. This could also involve asking for new responsibilities at work or exploring a side business or freelance opportunities. This year I prioritized taking workshops to learn to write better. In the process I found a lovely community of mothers.
Culinary Exploration // Experiment with cooking unfamiliar cuisines or trying out new, exotic foods that you would usually avoid. This is a small way to broaden your horizons from the comfort of your kitchen. I’ve been reading culinary memoirs and each gives a battering of recipes for me to salivate over.
Educational Commitment // Commit to reading books or watching documentaries on topics that challenge your current understanding or beliefs, broadening your perspective.
Travel Adventures // Travel somewhere new, even if it's just a day trip to an unexplored area in your locality. The goal is to experience new environments and break the monotony. I love adventuring to new places with my boys. They give me courage to explore, to be curious, and to talk to everyone in our path.
