a bit of gratitude // day 2
“A dash of humor is just what the doctor ordered”
The 5 Stages of Sniffles
Stage 1: Denial
Sniffles? What sniffles? I just got a vaccine for that, in fact I got two. It’s just a scratchy throat. I’m as healthy as a horse. Horses get runny noses too, right? I’ve been doing so well, drinking water, eating veggies, sleeping well beyond my usual six hours. Wait, am I sleeping too much?
Stage 2: Anger
Who did this to me? Where was I, that my family wasn’t? Steve, the ER doc, my airplane seat mate who did not stop talking on our flight, was it you? I should have known. Or perhaps it was you lady at the beach who bobbed into me between waves with your adorable snotty child? I swear if one more person tells me ‘its just a cold’.
Stage 3: Bargaining
"Okay, okay, if I promise to eat nothing but kale and quinoa for a month, will you just let me taste my food again? I'll even throw in a vow to floss daily. If you’re listening up there, I’ll trade in every unused gift card stashed in my glove compartment to charity just for the ability to breathe through both nostrils.
Stage 4: Depression
Why me? I will never see the light of day, I will be stuck in this bed with these stale sheets and snotty tissues all over my bedside table for the rest of my life. I’m not sure I’ll ever have energy to do anything ever again. My friends are judging me.
Stage 5: Acceptance
"Fine, I'm sick. But you know what? I'm going to embrace this. I've got my army of tissues, my fortress of blankets, and enough tea to drown a small village. And in the meantime I’ve got a valid excuse to avoid all human contact and any responsibilities. Be grateful, could always be worse. Silver linings, people!
