I Quit My Job

Resignation.

I could say I quit my job, but I never thought of myself as a quitter. But resignation seems too formal a word for me as well. Any way you want to say it, it’s done. I stepped away from a good job, from my career of the last 12 years, and I can’t say it doesn’t sting. Especially now amidst COVID when so many have lost their jobs, while my colleagues are working too hard for too little pay in certainly unsafe conditions. It makes me feel crass, frivolous, and just plain ignorant. But I’m not any of those things and thank God I’ve made it to my thirties to gain a healthy dose of confidence because it took that long to find it! While the negative thoughts fly over me again and again, I’m feeling surprisingly adept at clearing them from my headspace because don’t get me wrong, they do come. When I can replace negative untrue judgements with positive hopeful thoughts, I can rest in the truth: it will all be okay.

The hardest part in this decision was knowing I would go from something near perfect - a balance of work and motherhood - to straight up stay-at-home mom. What I had before felt like the perfect balance. The question I asked myself was, “Do I really want to upset the balance?” Dangling in front of me was this opportunity to stretch myself yet again. I have found that in order to grow I have to figure out a way to deal with a healthy dose of the uncomfortable. It is in the valleys of life where we find what we are made of, isn’t it? And so with the belief that I can be more than one thing in my lifetime, that I can be career woman, then part timer whilst stay at home mom, then full fledged lady of leisure mama bear, I know one thing for sure: I’m thankful to have the choice.