A simple way to teach gratitude
“Some picture books are mirrors. When we read them we see ourselves in them and we identify with the characters, but some picture books are windows and doors, they bring us to a new place.”
Gratitude is a practice. It’s a choice. Kind of like forgiveness. It doesn’t just happen; it’s something we can learn and cultivate in the everyday moments, often in the simplest of ways.
The last two years, from November 1st through November 30th, I’ve written down the things I’m grateful for in that day. I try and keep a simple record of bullet points. Later in the day, I may go back over the list reflecting on the bigger picture. I miss days, I reflect on things days later, but in this small, imperfect practice I have found a more content person, a more hopeful and optimistic one too, in myself.
I find it easiest to feel grateful when I’m outdoors with my children. They notice everything—the way the leaves crunch underfoot, the way a songbird will stop to perch just a little too close. These are the moments that can get lost when I’m rushing through my own to-do list. But when I follow their eyes, when I pause and take in the details they’re pointing out, I find my own sense of gratitude growing.
Two years ago, we began asking our children what they’re thankful for each day in November. My eldest began listing off everything that was music to my ears - I’m thankful that I have a mommy and daddy. I’m thankful for shelter in our home, and for food on the table, and a really nice teacher. It’s almost as if he’d grown up too fast. But I’ve encouraged him to think small, think simple, think more specific. I want to remind him how he used to be thankful for things that were right in front of his eyes.
A lot of times, I tell him, I’m just thankful for warm boots to go crunching through the snow. Can he hold that? Can he welcome these gratitudes as well? I’m thankful for the canned sliced cranberry goodness that my mom made sure to always have on the table for Thanksgiving, even though it wasn’t home made.
A practical tip - Wait till bedtime. Don’t ask right when the children get out of school or even at dinnertime. They’re either overloaded from the day, or will say something silly to get excused from the table. Every evening we’re in the habit of saying one thing we’re grateful for and one thing we’re proud of. We go around the room - the four of us - and mention a few things. The only rule, it must have happened that day.
All the World by Liz Garton Scanlona - This lyrical book celebrates the simple joys of life, showing how gratitude can be found in everyday moments. Astonishing illustrations. You can’t read this book and not be grateful for the incredible world we live in.
Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña - A boy and his grandmother ride the bus, and through their journey, he learns to appreciate the beauty and community around him. This book won both the Newbury and Caldecott awards. You finish the book and you feel changed and then you read it again and again.
Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts - A boy learns to balance his desires with the joy of giving, subtly weaving a message of gratitude for what you have.
The Seven Silly Eaters by Mary Ann Hoberman - This is a family favorite. The beautiful illustrations alone are captivating. And this story, a story of having gratitude for your mother, hits just the right kind of note.
Bear Says Thanks by Karma Wilson - Bear invites his friends to a feast and learns how their contributions make the gathering special, emphasizing gratitude in relationships. There were years when I refused to host gatherings in my home because I wasn’t proud of my decorating skills or that my house didn’t feel “finished” or that we didn’t have a proper place to eat. Little did I know that my pride was getting in the way, just like Bear’s.
Strictly No Elephants by Lisa Mantchev - Not an overt book on gratitude but a sweet account of what can blossom through simple childhood trials - the value of accepting differences and the desire to belong.
Extra Yarn by Mac Barnett - A girl transforms her cold, gray, town with colorful yarn, sharing joy and generosity in a story that emphasizes the beauty of giving.
Thank You, Omu! by Oge Mora - A rich, textured tale of a woman sharing her delicious stew with her neighbors, and how their gratitude comes full circle.
Thankful by Eileen Spinelli - “The fireman, for putting the fire out. The poet is thankful for words that rhyme.” These simple responses of thanks help children create their own stories of thankfulness.
Gracias, thanks by Pat Mora - A bilingual book that through the eyes of a child lists the gratitudes for his day. Perfect for concrete examples of thankfulness for children.
Thank you Sarah, the Woman Who Saved Thanksgiving by Laurie Halse Anderson - The Thanksgiving we celebrate today is based on the Pilgrim’s harvest feast in 1621. But they weren’t the first to invent Thanksgiving. Celebrations of thanksgiving have been held all over the world for centuries. But this is our story, the American story, and the woman who made the tradition have a date in our history.
